Vomit deposited on ejection in Temple Bar (Work in Progress)

I stepped in vomit yesterday,

Along a lane in Temple bar.

I wondered who had left it there

And if they had to travel far.

And if the vomit travelled too

Or at least a part of it

From whatever city came

The visitor that made Dublin green.

The Bertie Ahern Show

Its time to put on make-up

Its time to tell some lies

Its time to con the public 

On the Bertie Show tonight.

Its time to get amnesia,

Its time to take the p1ss,

Sylvio has nothing on this

Its the Bertie show tonight.

He’ll rob you while you’re sleeping,

And lie when you’re awake

He’ll be so bad you’ll think he’s good

Even though he’s on the take.

Its time to flip the finger

To all the common folk

Who care’s? They’ll re-elect you

On the Bertie Show Tonight

Trees and Workers

Get yer laughing gear around that, its a big shopping centre in Ballymena Haiy,

Marginally better off than some does not mean you’re happy.

Drink up son its time to go.

Play me a song about trees and workers

In a seedy Amsterdam bar.

Curry Sauce Blues

Curry Sauce on my jacket,

Curry Sauce on my shoes,

Curry Sauce on my T Shirt;

I’ve got the curry sauce blues.

Valentine’s Dilemma

St. Valentine probably

Wouldn’t be happy

With all the non-marital

Intercourse in his honour

Or the dirty cards

And rhymes that people exchange.

I kind of agree with that.

I don’t need an old

Guy who died in 2-6-9

To legitimise my lust.

I can be dirty

On any day of the year.

Egg

Egg

Poached

Launched through air.

Lands

Splat

On my face.

Pencil Box of Dreams

Sometimes Life can be cruel

So I write about it on my pencil box of dreams

And then it seems a little better

And then it doesn’t seem quite as bad.

I lie in a darkened bed-room

Trying not to let the stars burn my skin.

And then it feels a little bit colder

But I don’t really mind feeling cold.

I am practically alone light years from Earth

On a spaceship that looks like a house.

She is asleep, in hibernation

Awaiting our arrival on some far off world.

Maybe for a thousand years or more

She will lie in stasis never to awake

As I check upon all the instruments

Making sure that everything goes well.

Oh longest night,

That’s ever been,

Come to an end,

Let day dawn on our Eden.

Some unknown star

Rising on a planet blue

Breath life into

Humanity’s sarcophagus.

Lizard of My Dreams

Its back, that Lizard of my childhood dreams

Eating mango chutney and dragonfly cream

At a drive in restaurant with roller-skate waitresses

Flicking its tongue back and forth as they pass.

It casts a glancing eye at a fast moving ass

What it is thinking of is a mystery to me

But thats the way dream Lizards are see

And I have no wish to change that no siree.

Mister once you’ve got your dream Lizard

You’ll never dream alone again

Be your dreams about fast women or

Back in your toddler days play pen.

So welcome that Lizard and don’t be afraid

And when it comes to tea make fly marmalade

With bits of wing, leg and orange peel

Served on spider sourdough toast.

I felt an orgasm in my brain.

 

Did Ogden Nash get the same rush as me

The one that fills my head with glee

When he wrote his poetry.

I’d guess he did, his giddy verse

Would make the cerebral orgasm traverse

The globe of his head in a flash.

Eyes opened wide

By this onrushing tide

Gathering pace like a fairground ride

Off the walls of his brain it would crash.

 

Would he explode with delight

In the middle of night

Unable to get back to sleep

Until he unloaded

The rhyme that unfolded

From tropical waters deep?

 

When he wrote of “The Cow”

Did he ruminate how

Academics would get in a fluster

With lofty debates

If he was of the greats

With all seriousness they could muster?

 

When the story of how

America was found

Was turned to the style of a Limerick

 Did Ogden just glide

On the surf of the tide

Like the Nina and Santa Maria.

  

OPTIMUS PRIME AND THE DEFENDERS OF MONOTONY

Optimus Prime sat in his high chair
Megatron coming up the stair
Brought him a cup of tea
He thought oh deary me
I've gone forgot the milk.Prime says 'Tron not to worry
Without milk it wont go cold in a hurry
So don't get in a tizzy old buddy
I'll run out to the shop.

Delighted by his friend's suggestion
Tron did a Marcel Marceau impression
and Prime fell off his chair laughing.

Oh darn I lost a nut or a bolt,
In walks the boss; they straighten up with a jolt.